Sneaky Nudist: How to Sunbathe Nude Without Getting Caught

Well isn’t it just your luck! You book a villa, get ready for some birthday suit action with the sun, and then discover to your dismay that you’re in a Muslim territory and nudity (of any sort, anywhere) is frowned upon. Hmm. If only there was a way out of this….

Here are our top 5 tips on how to sunbathe nude without getting caught.

#1 Positioning

Take a page from Miranda's book on how to hide them unruly bits.
Take a page from Miranda’s book on how to hide them unruly bits.

It’s all about the positioning! 1) Choose a wall to face 2) Face your sun chair away towards the wall 3) conveniently position your umbrella and your table to block the unsightlies. That way, no one can accidentally spot you sunbathing after all your careful preparations… unless they want to.

#2 Friendly towel 

A towel makes all the difference. In this case, sadly.
A towel makes all the difference. In this case, sadly so.

Have a large, convenient towel next to you that you can fling over yourself at a moment’s notice. Hear footsteps? Whoosh! You are now decent.

#3 Midnight skinny dip

We couldn't show Joe in his birthday suit, but here's him in full sunlight... topless. You're welcome.
We couldn’t show Joe in his birthday suit, but here’s him in full sunlight… topless. You’re welcome.

You can’t nude sunbathe with this tip, but this is your only chance to race around your pool stark naked. Chances are, the security will be too focused on actually protecting you from dangerous things than to catch you flouting a rule.

#4 Try not to fall asleep

Reading a book definitely helps. It helped Eric.
Reading a book definitely helps. It helped Eric.

It’s easy to slip into dreamland when you’ve basked for long enough, but a) you will risk yourself being severely reprimanded, or facing a fine! or b) waking up painfully sunburnt.

We are not sure which one is worse. If you’re worried, always set an alarm before you start your session.

#5 Have a nude swim suit lying about in the pool 

If they claim they saw your bits, you can accuse them of being perverts.
If they claim they saw your bits, you can accuse them of being a peeping tom!

Spot a kid/guard/conservative elderly? Jump into the pool and quickly shrug on your nude swimsuit that was conveniently thrown in beforehand. There, you can now argue your way out of your sticky situation with the words, “You must’ve been mistaken.”

What was your excuse if you ever got caught nude, nomads?

Main photo: 1. 
Photo credits: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. 
The Luxe Nomad

Like you, we love to travel but we think that staying at beautiful places shouldn’t come with a hefty price tag. That’s why we’ve gone out there and snagged the best design and luxury hotels and resorts in the Asia Pacific region at rates you won’t believe. WanderLuxe is our little corner of the world where we share our inspirations and thoughts about travel!

2 Comments
  1. I prefer to build a wall, leaning cardboard up against the fence, checking the line of site. I still worry someone might see the cardboard the the fence cracks, get curious, and bring a ladder to the fence, and snap pictures. That should be illegal, but I don’t know if it is. But one I’m sure no one can see me, my clothes come off, and I feel the sun and the breeze. A human right.

  2. I feel very energized when ever I sunbath nude. Hard to explain but some people probably will never understand it , it’s like why some people love to climb mountains , there something about the risk involved I guess is part of it .
    Anyways I’ll continue doing it as long as I can , all the while I’m also exercising at the same time . Getting into much better shape too , seems to somehow motivate me to continue to workout at the same time . Looking pretty good for my age I’d have to say I’m happy with progress .

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