10 Ways to Piss Off your Air Stewardess (Part 2)

Had a laugh with Part 1 of our Ways to Piss Off Your Air Stewardess? Well, you’ll be glad to know that we actually got in a real air stewardess and asked her what grinds her gears. We’ll call her Jane. This is how you piss her off.

#1 Treat them like an electrician

"I can make funny shapes with the oxygen mask... that's pretty much all I can do about your in-flight entertainment."
“I can make funny shapes with the oxygen mask… that’s pretty much all I can do about your in-flight entertainment.”

“We cannot fix the bloody (in-flight) entertainment system, and if yours is spoilt, tough luck.”

They’re trained for emergency situations, guys, not rewiring tech systems so you can watch “Frozen” for the gazillionth time on your 2 hour flight.

#2 Suddenly are not able to carry your luggage

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I don't hate you right now.
Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I don’t hate you right now.

“If you’ve gotten this far, we can’t see how you suddenly can’t lift it.”

It’s excusable if you’re a waif of a lady or a child, but if you’ve packed in your kitchen sink into your carry-on, you should be able to hoist it into the overhead compartment yourself.

#3 Overshop at duty-free and blame them for no space

'Fraid not, buddy.
‘Fraid not, buddy.

“You’re already exceeding your baggage allowance. Be grateful they weren’t offloaded!”

They didn’t build the overhead compartments and they sure as hell didn’t ask you to buy half the store.

#4 Snap your fingers at them

The only times snapping fingers are acceptable: 1. when dancing 2. reaching eureka.
The only times snapping fingers are acceptable: 1. when dancing 2. reaching eureka.

“Would you snap your fingers at your lover to grab their attention?”

There should be a legislation where the snapping of fingers will warrant them being cut off. #rudemuch

#5 Sleep spreadeagled

The aisle is already like a minefield, don't add bombs to it.
The aisle is already like a minefield, don’t add bombs to it.

If you cause a member of the crew to trip and fall on you in the dark, I sure hope they are carrying a tray of orange juice and aim well.”

We get that you don’t have bodily control when you sleep, but there are certain measures like crossing your arms and legs to snooze.

#6 Perform questionable tasks under your blanket

"I'm concentrating... because I'm trying to figure out how to debunk Newton's second law."
“I’m concentrating… because I’m trying to figure out how to debunk Newton’s second law.”

“Remember, our blankets are not invisibility cloaks.”

They (and your seat buddy) know very well what you’re doing under there, so don’t even think about smoking, clipping your toenails or any other… below the belt activity.

#7 Blame them for your seat position

Us being sorry... doesn't mean we can do much about it.
Us being sorry… doesn’t mean we can do much about it.

“I do not arrange where you sit on the plane. The fool who checked you in did.”

Oop, was that you? Well then.

#8 Join the Mile High Club

Never acceptable. Also, not as cool as you think it is.
Never acceptable. Also, not as cool as you think it is.

“No. Just… no.”

In the toilet/under your blanket/with your seat buddy. In case you don’t know what it is, we’ve Googled it for you.

#9 Dragon breath

Stop the horror with toothpaste and water.
Stop the horror with mouthwash and water.

“Have a drink, eat something, pop a mint, ask us for a toothbrush, anything!!”

Be mindful of your morning breath. It’s difficult to serve someone when you’re on the brink of fainting from the stink.

#10 Use the hand towel for other parts

You might be able to clean other parts with this whole tray, but that doesn't mean it's okay to do so.
You might be able to clean other parts with this whole tray, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to do so.

“Body towels aren’t normally pint sized. So why are you using it like one?”

Cleaning your face, pits, feet, and other unmentionables onboard with a hand towel is not acceptable in any country and neither is handing that back to them unashamedly.

What else do you think people shouldn’t do/ask of the cabin crew, nomads?

Main photo: 1.
Photo credits: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. 10.
The Luxe Nomad

Like you, we love to travel but we think that staying at beautiful places shouldn’t come with a hefty price tag. That’s why we’ve gone out there and snagged the best design and luxury hotels and resorts in the Asia Pacific region at rates you won’t believe. WanderLuxe is our little corner of the world where we share our inspirations and thoughts about travel!

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