In the name of good fun, we’ve compiled a list of tell-tale signs of the typical Asian traveller. Written by an Asian, for anyone with a sense of humour.
#1 We’re Always Number One!
First one on the plane, first one off the plane. There’s a sense of urgency and anxiousness we experience when waiting at the gate, followed by a knee-jerk-like reaction to stand up once the plane lands. Why? Because no one remembers who came second in anything, said our parents.
#2 We Travel Just to Shop
We’re not embarrassed to admit that we’ll go on trips just to shop. And when we shop, we represent just about EVERYONE at home. Why do you think you’re always stuck behind some lady who’s buying 15 bags in Prada at the counter? Yep, that’s us.
#3 A Stick that Changed The World
Our world, that is. We’ll do anything to capture the perfect shot – we’ll squat, stand on benches, run far and wide – no angle is left undiscovered. Thankfully, the selfie stick was finally invented, and we can send tall Uncle Wong with his long arm to the back of the group shot. It also doubles up as a weapon if the natives start getting annoying.
#4 Pictures or it Never Happened
Never mind if we have no clue what ‘it’ is. Get enough sanitation workers to snap a picture of a manhole cover, and we’ll line up to do the same. We’re always snapping pictures with people we think are famous, buildings that look like something out of a history book, and streets with funny names.
#5 Instagram or it Never Happened
Which leads to…us not knowing the meaning or the art of the humble brag. Went for an 11-course degustation menu at Jules Verne, Paris? Everyone on social media needs to know right this minute, otherwise it never happened. Plus, we’ll take several different angles of the food too. And our feet (in our designer shoes). And our designer bag. And selfies (we never forget selfies).
#6 The First Thing We Ask For In a Restaurant
Isn’t the menu. Obviously we’ll need to post those beautifully VSCO-filtered Instagram pics at some point, #amirite??? So you’ll need WiFi, because insane data roaming charges go against our DNA. Where better to do so at a restaurant, ANY restaurant, as long as it has WiFi. You’d better be ready to give us the password or we’ll be moving on. Fast.
#7 We’ll Eat Asian Food Wherever We Go
Well of course we’ll fly 5000 miles to eat Asian food. But if we don’t think it’s up to standard, you’ll be sure to hear about it too.
#8 No Matter The Weather
Santorini? Bali? Check! We LOVE beach holidays just like everyone else. But without the TAN, of course. Don’t. Ask. Us. Why. Even when it’s hundred degrees outside, you’ll spot us covered up with sunnies and a big ol’ hat.
Just so you know, we took the mick out of Australian travellers too. So, where to now?
Photo credits: Main, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8.
